Effective Parenting Skills & Parenting Tips

Three qualities revealed through body posture and body gestures are passivity, aggressiveness and assertiveness.

Passivity, or timidity, is shown by mumbling or stuttering, slouching, looking down at the floor, nervously picking at fingers or biting nails, having arms folded in a protective manner with the body hunched, having legs close together to minimize space the body takes up and standing further from another person than a confident person would stand. Children who predominantly display passive body language are more open to victimization.

Aggressiveness is shown by shouting, using a sarcastic or accusing tone, having a tense upright posture where the person uses height to intimidate, staring unremittingly at the other person, having tight fists, pointing, folding arms or having hands on hips with legs more than slightly apart, standing too close to another person and invading their comfortable body space, and leaning forward in a threatening manner. Children who predominantly display aggressive body language can intimidate and find that other people are less likely to want to make friends and will probably try to avoid them.

Assertiveness is shown by speaking clearly and firmly with a well-modulated tone (not in a monotone), having a relaxed upright posture, having a gaze that meets the other person’s gaze while occasionally looking away, having hands relaxed by the sides and legs slightly apart, leaning forward to talk to another person to show interest in what is being said and standing a comfortable distance from the other person. Children who show assertive body language are more likely to command respect from other people, their opinions are more likely to be valued and they are less likely to be bullied or be suspected of being bullies.

Discuss the following questions with the class:

- Passive, aggressive and assertive are words to describe certain types of behaviour. What do you know about each type of behaviour? How might passive people appear? How might aggressive people appear? How might assertive people appear?

- If someone acts confidently, people will believe that they are confident whether or not this is the case. And when people change in the way they behave towards them because they believe they are confident, that will make that person feel more confident. On the whole, how would you like to be seen? Discuss the consequences of being seen as passive, aggressive and assertive.

Activity

Invite children to show what posture is best to adopt in the following situations:

- You are in trouble from a teacher and it is deserved. (A slightly timid posture is best to show meekness and regret. An aggressive, defiant posture is likely to get you into more trouble. A confident posture in this situation might be misinterpreted by the teacher as arrogance.)

- You are out shopping in a big town. (You need to look confident so that no one is tempted to pick on you or to try to talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.)

- Someone has unjustly accused you of doing something. (You need to look outraged and angry to show you have been wronged.)

Ask the children to practise reading body language by watching people carefully when they speak – and by watching actors in films and on the television. They should also try matching their body language with the message they want to give.

Racism is believing that one race is superior to other races; the belief is fed by prejudice and stereotyping. When children hear racist remarks at home they take them as fact and repeat what was said in the playground, sharing racism with their classmates. Racism is also perpetuated by listening to – and passing on – racist jokes. Being racist is being abusive, biased, a bully, ignorant, intolerant, narrow-minded, bigoted, blinkered and prejudiced. Racist people can also be dangerous as they can spread hatred and incite violence. ‘Inciting racial hatred’ is a criminal offence. Any racist behaviour, such as verbal abuse, harassment or physical violence, is also against the law.

To stop racism, children shouldn’t laugh at racist jokes or pass them on. If someone makes a negative comment about someone from another ethnic group they should ask what they based their comment on. If there’s no evidence to back up the comment, they should point it out or ask the person to take back what they said and apologize. Children need to look beyond external appearances and base their liking on personalities and commonalities. They should celebrate the rich culture brought to their area, enjoy the different music available to listen to and the range of foodstuffs available to eat. They could find out about other cultures by talking to people from those cultures and they could try to understand how other people’s lives differ from theirs. They should build bridges rather than break them.

It is important to stop racism since hatred against a particular race can escalate and through increasing violence someone could be badly injured or even killed – or victims might be so unhappy they commit suicide.

Discuss the following questions with the class:

- What is racism? How do people become racist?

- Think of words to describe racist people.

- Is racism legal?

- How do you think it feels to be picked on because of your race? (It could make you feel valueless, scared, lacking in confidence and self-esteem. You might find it hard to trust people, turn against your own religion or culture and have identity issues.)

- How might your life be affected? (Your schoolwork might suffer. You might play truant, pretend to be ill, refuse to go to school or leave your home at all through fear. You might be lonely.)

- How would you feel if you were the only person from your race in the area? (Very conspicuous, afraid, alone, with no friends. You might assume everyone from other races is hostile since you’ve had negative experiences before.)

- If the race you are from is not important, what is important about people? (How they behave towards you, how kind they are, the kind of person they are or become, whether they are doing their best with the resources and talents that they have, to what use they put those talents and how they live their life.)

- Why is it important to stop racism?

- What can you do to stop racism?

Finally, teaching them that love covers all races and that love has no racial boundaries. As parents and educators, we should also show them in action.

Iodine is essential for making thyroid hormones. Adequate sup­plies of iodine are essential for the development of your baby’s brain and nervous system during the first 3 months of life in the womb. Lack of iodine leads to an underactive thyroid, which shows up after birth as a condition known as cretinism. As well as an underactive thyroid, the child’s brain cannot develop prop­erly, leading to severe mental retardation. This is a serious prob­lem in some parts of the world, including parts of Europe, New Zealand, Brazil and the Himalayas. In some areas, iodine defi­ciency affects 9 out of 10 of the population. In Indonesia, for example, there are currently an estimated 1.5 million severely mentally retarded children and 800,00 with cretinism. This is a devastating condition that is entirely preventable if expectant mothers are given injections of iodized oil – preferably during the preconceptual period. Treatment must be given before the 6th month of pregnancy, however, to protect the brain against the effects of iodine deficiency. When treatment is not given until the last 3 months of pregnancy, it does not seem to improve brain function. In the Western world, newborn babies are screened for cretinism as part of the heel prick test carried out soon after delivery.

How Much You Need

The EC RDA is 150 meg, and the UK RNI 140 meg with no extra suggested for pregnancy. US recommendations, however, suggest that requirements rise by 25 meg during pregnancy, from 150 meg to 175 meg per day.

Good Dietary Sources

- marine fish such as haddock, halibut, salmon, tuna

- seaweed (such as kelp)

- iodized salt

- milk (in many countries, cattle feed is also iodized)

- crops and cattle reared on soils exposed to sea-spray

Potential Problems

Gross iodine deficiency leading to swelling of the thyroid gland (goitre) is now rare in the UK since the introduction of iodized salt. People who restrict their salt intake and who do not eat iodine-rich foods (such as seafood) are at risk of iodine defi­ciency, however. Selenium plays a role in the metabolism of thyroid hormones, and the effects of iodine deficiency are exac­erbated by low selenium intakes.

Zinc is essential for the proper function of over a hundred differ­ent enzymes. It forms an integral part of the enzyme which inter­acts with the genetic code (DNA) to switch on a gene in response to hormone triggers. By switching on a gene, it initiates synthesis of the specific protein that gene codes for. Zinc is therefore vital in the development of your baby’s brain. It also forms part of an antioxidant enzyme system (cupric zinc superoxide dismutase) that is vital for protecting the brain from damage due to exposure to the metabolic chemicals and free radicals pro­duced during the rapid developmental process in the womb. This enzyme may provide some protection against cerebral palsy. There is some evidence that optimal zinc status is linked with a larger head circumference and lower risk of low birthweight – in fact, some researchers have been able accurately to predict a baby’s birthweight and head circumference simply by analysing placental content of zinc. Zinc is also important for general growth, sexual maturity, wound healing and immune function. Although your zinc requirements steadily increase through-it pregnancy, zinc deficiency is common. It is linked with many congenital defects of the brain and spinal cord, including mental retardation and learning difficulties. Zinc is needed during the metabolism of essential fatty acids, and zinc deficiency makes the effects of lack of essential fatty acids worse. Lack of zinc also increases the risk of miscarriage, pre-eclamp­sia, anaemia, preterm delivery, congenital defects and difficult delivery due to inefficient contractions during labour. Babies born to mothers with low zinc levels are more likely to have learning difficulties.

Taking a daily zinc supplement during pregnancy boosts infant weight and increases head circumference – a direct indication of an increase in brain size.

Recent research has shown that babies given low-dose zinc supplements after birth grew significantly faster than babies fed normally. This difference was mainly noted in boys. The authors of this research concluded that infants breastfed for more than 4 months may show a slower rate of growth due to zinc deficiency. Other studies have suggested that zinc increases the size of the penis and testis in growing boys.

Zinc supplements seem to reduce some of the central nervous system effects of excess alcohol during pregnancy which are associated with developmental delay and intellectual impair­ment. It seems to help reduce the malformation of synapses between brain cells which are caused by excess alcohol.

How Much You Need

The US National Research Council recommends a daily intake of 12 mg zinc for non-pregnant women, 15 mg per day during pregnancy and up to 19 mg per day during lactation. The UK RNI is only 7 mg, but recommends an extra 6 mg during preg­nancy and 2.5 mg when breastfeeding. The EC RDA is 15 mg per day for adults. Studies show that most pregnant women obtain less dietary zinc than recommended and that maternal blood zinc levels fall by around 30 per cent during pregnancy. Your baby’s zinc levels are usually double your own. Maternal zinc levels are significantly lower in mothers who have low birth­weight babies. Some researchers feel that zinc supplements are essential during pregnancy.

One of the earliest symptoms of zinc deficiency is loss of taste sensation. This can be tested for by obtaining a solution of zinc sulphate (5 mg/5 ml) from a pharmacy. Swirl a teaspoonful in your mouth. If the solution seems tasteless, zinc deficiency is likely. If the solution tastes furry, of minerals or slightly sweet, zinc levels are borderline. If it tastes strongly unpleasant, zinc levels are normal.

Good Dietary Sources

- red meat

- offal

- brewer’s yeast

- wholegrains

- pulses

- eggs

- cheese

Food processing removes most mineral zinc from foods.

Potential Problems

Soya products and foods rich in iron reduce the absorption of zinc from the intestines. They are best avoided within 2 hours of taking zinc supplements.

Lack of zinc is linked with increased risk of miscarriage, pre­eclampsia (high blood pressure in pregnancy), anaemia, abnormally prolonged pregnancy and difficulty during delivery.